There`s this boy in the year above me and I don`t know why but he always comes up behind me and trips me up or nips my ears or just hassles me. He calls me names and if there`s something that he knows that I don`t know, he goes on and on about it to his friends and gets them to nip me too. I can`t say anything to my parents because his Mum is friends with my Mum and I can`t say anything to school because it`s not big enough and it would just make it worse. What should I do? (Zak, Spring 2008)

It might not make it worse, you know, if you mentioned this to your teacher or his. It sounds bad and it sounds like it could get worse before it gets better. This boy has got into a bad, bad habit and he needs to be stopped - for his sake as well as yours. You can be sure that when he remembers this when he is older, he will feel very ashamed. You cannot be expected to be thinking about his welfare but it might be worth remembering that this is the behaviour of a pathetic, frightened, uncertain individual. The bully, in every single case that I have ever heard of, is a coward. You have probably heard that one before. Well, it`s true. It might not seem like much of a comfort when you are being nipped and shoved and teased and generally harassed but it is worth keeping in mind: this person is only doing these stupid and annoying and painful things to me because he is scared of life and thinks that he is useless and he is trying to prove that he`s not - but it`s not working. Imagine that you are being attacked by a worm which is trying to make the world think that it`s a lion. A laughable enterprise! If you can get this idea firmly into your mind, you might begin to find his antics comical and, instead of being scared by him, you might find the presence of mind, while under attack, to point out to him what a worm he is. Bullies, because they are cowards and because they have no good reason for their behaviour, are dumbfounded and perplexed if their victims fight back. Try not to play him at his own game - violence - as this would make him feel that he has won but try to shrug off his unacceptable assaults with the contempt they deserve. But please do consider informing the authorities about him. Good luck!

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