Great Uncle Fred? What is the best game of all? (Simon, Winter 2007/8)

The best game ever devised through the skill, ingenuity and luck of man, and woman, is cricket. It is possible, Simon, that you will find some people who will disagree with this assertion; let them listen to the three most important reasons why cricket is the best. Firstly, cricket is eternal. In no other game, not even golf, would there be any point in pitching (by magic) elite competitors from one era against those of another. If you watch a video of a football match from the 1970s, or rugby, you can hardly believe the apparent slow motion of the play. Since then, fitness levels and training methods have completely transformed these games. Some people think footballers these days are too fit. Whatever, if by some trick of time, the team which won the European Cup in 1967 were brought at the top of their game to play the team that won the Champions League in 2007, the score would be about 6-0. The Boys of ’67 would be absolutely done in by half-time. And the same goes for rugby. As for athletics, you only need to look at the times. Even golf, with the players being so much fitter but, more importantly, with the development of the equipment, Tiger Woods would definitely beat Henry Cotton, Ben Hogan, Jack Nicklaus... But, cricket. Can one imagine Donald Bradman striding into bat against Steve Harmison? Yes, it is the same game. (And Bradman would destroy Harmison.) Apart from some superficials like advertising, helmets, intrusive journalists, the game is unchangeable. Imagine a game between those players now sadly passed on and those still with us: the result would be too close to call, and the match would be the greatest match of all time. Secondly, the structure of cricket means that every moment of the game is layered and interesting. Unlike less subtle games, each team in cricket is not trying to do the same thing at the same time. The game has been thought of as a re-enactment of the never-ending disputes between Venus and Mars - the batsman serves Venus, the bowler’s a Martian - and, while that might be too fanciful, the development of the game has ensured a spectacle which is endlessly complex, rich and fascinating. What other game can last five whole days, end as a draw and yet be considered a great game? It is preposterous and it is wonderful. Thirdly, ladies. For some reason, ladies generally tend to act rather disgruntled regarding men’s enthusiasm for sports and games. When the sport is cricket, however, a change comes over them. ‘Cricket?’ they say, brightly, and ask how they can help, what they can do to be supportive. Even ladies who like to make sure that you know that they make lots of money and are more serious than the most serious man, even these ones can turn all smiley and excited when the cricket is on. Sometimes they offer to make sandwiches. No other game has this effect. No sport can come close to matching these three reasons why cricket is supreme. It is also, probably, among sports commonly played all over the world, the most dangerous, the sport which gives you the greatest chance of sustaining severe injury or even death. This too is important, the bravery required. It might furthermore be mentioned that Hitler is supposed to have said that the German people could never take to cricket because there were ‘too many regulations’ while the French nobleman was reported finding the whole affair completely incomprehensible - why did the English gentleman run after the ball himself - why did he not send his servant to fetch it instead? It has been suggested that there would have been no need for the Revolution in France if the French had played cricket - the best of all games!

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